I have been working out so hard at the gym and trying to meet my targets that I never realized that there was a problem breeding in my house. It is understandable that bodybuilders normally have to do so much at the gym and by the time you get home, things might be way out of control. I guess the same thing happened to me pretty much. I went on my bodybuilding schedule as often as I could and kept it so religiously. However, little did I know that my daughter was already developing an eating disorder. Of course the most natural thing for any parent to do in such a case would have been to start pointing fingers at who or what might be the cause of this problem that the young girl was going through.
I was pretty obsessed with my appearance so much that it was all I cared about. Everything that I did was planned, just like most of the other bodybuilders out there. From my meals to my training schedules, everything had to go according to plan. Even the way I eat my meals, it was never because I enjoyed or I wanted to eat the food, but because it was part of the plan. There were times when my wife and I had this big problem where she would ask me what I wanted her to make for dinner in the evening, but I would not have the right answer for her. When I got back home, she would have made something nice but because of the meal plan that I was on, I would not be able to eat it. My biggest worry was trying to be as lean as possible so that I would gain the muscles I needed. The fact that I was training weights all the time gave me the drive to add more strength, and the manner in which I paid attention to my diet made it possible for me to define accurately what my purpose was for this workout plan.
Unfortunately while I was very busy trying to be the best at the gym, I was losing out seriously at home. I had a daughter who did not have any idea what it meant to have a real father around. I spent most of my time at the gym and this posed a lot of challenges at home. Whenever I came home, all I could talk about was how my day at the gym had been, and nothing else would come to mind. It was an obsession. Indeed I went on to win a number of competitions and a lot of people considered and some still consider me their role model. However, in my opinion I was not even worth being referred to as a role model because I had failed my daughter, my wife and my family in general.
Over time my daughter came to get better from her condition, but since then I have wondered what happened to me, what turned me into this person that my family could not recognize anymore?